Here are mainly Simpson's Quotes to start off with. HOMER SIMPSON QUOTES!!!!
LISA: Did you know that the Japanese use the same word for crisis as for opportunity?
HOMER: Yes! Crisitunity!
MARGE: Have you noticed something different about Bart?
HOMER: New glasses?
MARGE: No. He looks like something may be troubling him.
HOMER: Probably misses his old glasses.
MARGE: I'd think that we should get more involved in his activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
HOMER: Yeah, and then they'd give us the chair.
MARGE: That's not what I meant.
HOMER: It was Marge, admit it.
HOMER: What're you gonna do? Sick the dogs on me? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
HOMER: You don't understand, Marge. I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line and I'm not out of order, you're out of order! The whole freakin' system's out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you put your hand into a pile of goo that used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge! It's Chinatown!
(Bart runs out of Uncie Moes, leaving behind his food)
HOMER: Bart! You didn't finish your spagetti and moe-balls!
HOMER'S BRAIN: Silence fool! It could be ours!
HOMER: Run boy! Run for you life........boy!
HOMER: Oh, look at me, I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man, from happy land who lives in a gumdrop house on lolipop lane!
MARGE: I don't think the car had broken axles before.
HOMER: Before! Before! You're living in the past, Marge. Quit living in the past!
"Stealing? How could you?! Havent you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didnt hear anybody laughin, did you?
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
Lisa: Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous, but have you ever considered artificial insemination?
Homer: Boy, I dont know. You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.
Marge: Oh, that sounds fabulous, Homer. Stores throw the best parties.
Homer: You like parties huh? Well, I just remembered theyre having a big one down at the waterfront this weekend.
Marge: You didnt remember that. You just saw it on TV.
Homer: The important thing is I didnt imagine it.
Oh my god! Space Aliens! Dont eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!
Aw, being a clown sux. You get kicked by kids, hit by dogs, and admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no business being a clown! Im leaving the clowning business to all the other clowns in the clowning business.
You couldnt fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
The young and wise Ralph Wiggum (from the Simpsons!)
"Lisa's bad dancing makes my feet sad"
"When I grow up I'm going to be a principal, or a caterpillar!"
"That's where i saw the leprechaun, he told me to burn things."
"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant!"
"I'm going to eat chocolate 'til I barf!"
"And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."
"He's still funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny."
"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."
"So, do you...like...stuff?"
"What's a battle?"
"I'm Idaho."
"My cat's name is mittens"
"I bent my wookie."
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
"Me fail English? That's unpossible."
"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove."
"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"
"Was president Lincoln okay?"
"My neck hurts and my ear hurts. I have two owwies."
"Hi, Lisa! We're going to be in a pie!"
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."
"My knob tastes funny."
"Which one is oral?"
"It tastes like ... burning"
"Help! She's touching my special area!"
"Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours."
"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"
"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."
"This snowflake tastes like fishsticks."
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Quotes "This passport is a cheap forgery! A cheap $2,000 forgery!"
Marge: Ooh, that's a _great_ price for twelve pounds of nutmeg.
Apu: Oh, great selection and rock-bottom prices. But where is the love?
Apu: Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels! [runs off]
"An all syrup Super Squishy? Oh, such a thing has never been done."
"Each of these bullet wounds is a badge of honor."
"Everybody to my place for blueberry squishies and microwave burritos."
"He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had."
"Hey! hey! This is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!"
"Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead. How I've missed you!"
"Mr.Simpson--A Twizzler is not a sprinkle...A Mounds is not a sprinkle...A Jolly Rancher is NOT a sprinkle!!!!"
"I've just enrolled in the screenwriting class. I yearn to tell the story of an idealistic young Hindu, pushed too far by convenience store bandits. I call it "Hands Off My Jerky, Turkey".
 Everyone's favorite slack-jawed yokel, Cletus
"Hey Ma! Look at this pointy haired girl!"
"Hot Damn! No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in!"
Cletus and Brandine's Kids: Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phil STEWIE QUOTES (FROM THE FAMILY GUY)
And now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarichal tyranny
Why don't you burn in hell?!?
Victory is mine... Ahh, Damn you all!
Well, Well Mother... We meet again!
Time to be bad
...I want to get the hell out of here!! Oh, I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that
Oh, very funny, now tell the one that doesn't suck
...I've gone and soiled myself, are you happy now?
What the hell is this?!? It's a boy
Damn you, damn the brocoli, and damn the wright brothers
Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Am I supposed to spend the entire day wallowing in my own feces?
Hello Mother, care to partake in one of your, oh so exhilarating games of peekaboo?
You know mother, life is like a box of chololate, you never know what you're gonna get, your life on however is like a box of active grenades
Who the hell do you think you are?
...I'll give you whatever you want: Money, Women... Men
Forecast for tomorrow, a few sprinkles of geious with a chance of doom!
...Shake me like a British nanny
MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES!!!!!!!!
(Now go out and do something important...!)
"Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing."
- Vince Lombardi
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.
- Michael Jordan
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
If you train hard, you'll not only be hard, you'll be hard to beat.
- Herschel Walker
Most games are lost, not won.
- Casey Stengel
The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose, you have lost.
- George Shultz
Sweat plus sacrifice equals success.
- Charlie Finley
You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.
- A J Kitt
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
- Muhammad Ali
To succeed...You need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett
Ask not what your teammates can do for you. Ask what you can do for your teammates.
- Magic Johnson
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear- not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.
- Lou Brock
If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average.
- M.H. Alderson
When someone tells me the is only one way to do things, it always lights a fire under my butt. My instant reaction is, "I'm gonna prove you wrong."
- Picabo Street
I'll always be Number 1 to myself.
- Moses Malone
When you face a fork in the road, step on the exhilarator!
- Pat Riley
Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.
- Ray Knight
Movie Quotes, from a variety of different movies. A REALLY DEPRESSING MATRIX QUOTE
Agent Smith: I'd like to share a revelation that I've had, during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure. FIGHT CLUB QUOTES
Tyler: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Marla: (with cash in hand) You're not getting this back. I consider it asshole tax.
Narrator: If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla.
Tyler: The things you own end up owning you.
Narrator: I am Jack's smirking revenge.
Tyler: It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
Tyler: Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)
Patricia: My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.
Angelica: You're in a rotten mood.
Patricia: It's the sunshine. Gets me down.
FOREST GUMP
Mrs. Gump: Don't you be afraid, sweetheart. Death is just a part of life, something we're all destined to do.
Forrest Gump: I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both, maybe both happening at the same time.
TRAINSPOTTING
Renton: Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
Harry: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: (discussing orgasms) Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because I know.
Sally: Oh. Right. Thats right. I forgot. Youre a man.
Harry: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.
Jerry Maguire (1997)
Dorothy: I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.
Jerry: This is going to change everything.
Dorothy: Promise?
Empire Records (1995)
Mark: Hey, Lucas. I've decided I'm going to start a band.
Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark: Well my name is with a K, so I was thinking my band's name could be with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas: Always play with their minds.
Stand by Me (1986)
Teddy: This is my age. I'm in the prime of my youth and I'll only be young once.
Chris: Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life.
Dead Poets Society (1989)
John Keating: We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
Here are mostly movies quotes, from such movies as Back to the Future, Top Gun, Spaceballs, Wayne's World, The Princess Bride, The Matrix, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Breakfast Club, Clerks, Field of Dreams, and a Christmas Story... Marty McFly: Doc are you telling me you built a time machine . . . out of a Delorean? Dr. Emmett L. Brown: The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style.
Slider": Who's butt did you kiss to get in here?
Lt. Nick "Goose" Bradshaw: Well, the list is long, but distinguished.
"Slider": Yeah, well, so's my Johnson.
Col. Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed!
Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow!
Col. Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?!
Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to . . . ludicrous speed!
Col. Sandurz: Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if the ship can take it.
Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Princess Vespa: What are you?
Barf: I'm a Mawg: half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend.
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babe-licious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the strokibility scale.
Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean that we can't still go out.
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does, actually. That's what "breaking up" is.
Wayne Campbell: I've had plenty of Joe jobs. Nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way, I have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets.
Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Westley: Oh no. It's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
Inigo Montoya: We're in a terrible rush.
Miracle Max: Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
The Grandfather: When I was your age, television was called, "books."
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't, by any chance, happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know.
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Morpheus: You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up.
Morpheus: There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: You were, Sir Galahad. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
John Bender: You get along with your parents?
Andrew Clark: Well, if I say "yes," I'm an idiot, right?
John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But, if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.
Silent Bob: [T]here's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back?"
Dante Hicks: "Empire."
Randal Graves: Blasphemy.
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader is his father, uh, Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets
Dante Hicks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off, the steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward-assed fu** on the planet, I smell like shoe polish, my ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fu**ing a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked thirty-six dicks.
Randal Graves: Thirty-seven.
Dante Hicks: My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted Death Star, were innocent victims when they were destroyed by the Rebels.
Terence Mann: The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But, baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again.
Ralphie (adult): Life is like that. Sometimes at the height of our reveries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.
The Book: If you have education, intelligence, and ability, so much the better. But, remember that thousands have reached the top without any of these qualities.
J. Pierpont Finch: [A]n emotional involvement can only lead to getting involved . . . emotionally.
The Book: How to Choose the Right Company: before applying for a job, make sure the company is a large one. This is essential. It should be at least large enough so that nobody quite knows exactly what the other fellow is doing.
Lynn: Which curve is supply and which is demand?
Sunny: I dunno.
Lynn: Great, and we're in the same group.
Sunny: What's worse is that we're both clueless too.
Lynn: I agree. Let's skip and go to McDonalds.
Sunny: Sounds like a plan!
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