click here to play sound TOP TEN BOOKS
1. Love Songs of the Tone Deaf by Asher Brauner
2. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
3. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
4. Exit to Eden by Anne Rice
5. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
6. Howl by Allen Ginsberg
7. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly
8. Anything by Shakespeare
9. Just Ballin' by Mike Issola and Frank Weis
10. The Darksword Trilogy tied with
The Star of the Guardians Trilogy Top Ten Web Page Topics
10. Soy and cheese sandwiches.
9. Your Tupperware Collection.
8. Cowtipping.
7. Discount textiles.
6. Chocolate covered ants.
5. Squeegees.
4. Sea monkeys.
3. Dehydrated water bottles.
2. Rush Limbaugh.
1. AOL.
The Top 10 Ways To Tell if Someone is Lying To You
(found this online)
1. Their eyes cast down when they lie.
2. They add too much.
3. Nervous laughter.
4. They feign ignorance about something you know they know.
5. They take charge of the conversation to distract/divert you.
6. They play on your friendship: asking you to just trust them,
7. You sense that something is off; any clue will do.
8. You find YOUR eyes squinting and your head angling several degrees.
9. When you ask for an explanation/clarification, there's a momentary gap while they conjure up something.
10. Explanations are given, that, while plausible, aren't good enough for YOU.
Matt Groening's Top Ten Simpsons Episodes
10. "There's No Disgrace Like Home" Season 1
In this episode, the family tries shock therapy with Dr. Marvin Monroe. My favorite quote is Homer saying, "When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!"
9. "Krusty Gets Busted" Season 1
Sideshow Bob commits his first crime when he frames Krusty for a robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart. I love Krusty's terrible slogan for his literacy campaign, "Give a hoot! Read a book!"
8. "Natural Born Kissers" Season 9
Homer and Marge rekindle their passion by getting intimate in public or dangerous situations. My favorite shot in this episode occurs in the bed and breakfast: the maid walks in on Homer and Marge, causing Homer to cover his nipples with tea cups.
7. "Treehouse of Horror VII" Season 8
Bart discovers Hugo, his evil twin; Lisa creates a higher form of life, and Kang and Kodos morph into Bob Dole and Bill Clinton. My favorite quote is Marge's opinion of Clinton when he Kodos says, "I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. End communication." Marge responds, "Hmm, that's Slick Willie for you, always with the smooth talk."
6. "Homer's Enemy" Season 8
A new employee, Frank Grimes, becomes bitter when he sees how successful a boob like Homer can be. This is a favorite episode among most fans, as well. Frank is a dose of reality in the world of Springfield, which makes his observations hysterical.
5. "In Marge We Trust" Season 8
Marge offers her sympathetic ear when Reverend Lovejoy gives up on his parish. Also, Homer discovers Mr. Sparkle, a character on a Japanese soap box, bears his own likeness. I love the completely politically incorrect way the writers depict Japanese businessmen. It's a parody on the stereotypes Americans believe to be true.
4. "A Streetcar Named Marge" Season 4 (My Personal Favorite)
Marge takes the part of Blanche DuBois in Springfield's musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire. My favorite moment is Apu singing as the newspaper boy.
3. "Much Apu About Nothing" Season 7
Homer jumps on the anti-immigration bandwagon before realizing Apu will be deported. Again, Groening pokes fun at our own insecurities as a country.
2. "Life on the Fast Lane" Season 1
Marge flirts with her bowling instructor, Jacques, when Homer gives her a bowling ball for her birthday. My favorite moment is the Officer and a Gentleman parody when Homer says he's going to take Marge to the back seat of his car, and he won't be back "for ten whole minutes."
1. "Bart the Daredevil" Season 2
After seeing Captain Lance Murdoch perform (barely) death-defying feats at the Springfield Speedway, Bart becomes a daredevil himself. When Homer realizes he's not going to make it across the gorge is my favorite moment in this episode.
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